A WEDDING CAKE MODEL BREAK DOWN TO CONQUER YOUR WEDDING
There are many different factors to consider and decisions to make when planning a wedding. It can be time consuming, even slightly intimidating. The key thing that I have learned is to break things down into tangible parts. There are also many people and relationships who can impact the planning process. In order to imagine how to prioritize and keep yourself focused, I will use the analogy of a lovely, three-tiered wedding cake. Each layer has its role to keep the cake together and to make your visualization come to life.
TIER ONE—SECOND JOB MENTALITY
I may be one of those rare breeds who turn wedding planning into a fun past time, or procrastination hobby. But, my strategy to fit in small pieces of wedding planning on a daily basis has completely paid off. Even if it is just an email or a new board on Pinterest, in the first four months of being engaged, I contributed something every day. Public transit is a great place to get a couple of emails out on your commute to work; so is taking an extra ten minutes in the morning.
Starting with the base of the cake, this needs to be the sturdiest part. To solidly begin your planning process, be sure to prioritize the pieces that are most important to you and your partner and start to work on those first. If there are specific vendors whose work you love and want to be a part of your wedding, chances are, they are popular with other brides too. So make sure to contact them well in advance.
It is imperative to have a specific notebook, file folder, or Word doc dedicated to wedding planning. Or, if you are like me, have all three 😊. Keeping all-things-wedding in an organized system will save you time as you plan and will make follow up a lot easier. I carry a wedding notebook with me so that I can jot down any new ideas, inspirations or TO DOs wherever I am. If you are more technology based, having a file on your phone works too. You can find a helpful wedding guideline here.
Finally, as in your work place, people expect to be treated with respect and to get responses in a reasonable time. This means that you should always reply to vendors, even if you have chosen someone else. It also means that you should do your research. Approach vendors having an idea of who they are and what they do, instead of blanketly asking every photographer in Vancouver to shoot your wedding. Just as you want to feel special on your wedding day, vendors feel special when people show genuine interest in what they do.
TIER TWO—WHO’S YOUR FAMILY
Most of us will field opinions and ‘helpful advice’ from various family members throughout the wedding planning process. This can often squish you in the middle between two layers: what you and you’re your partner want and what family members ‘would do if it was their wedding’. At risk of sounding cliché, remember that this is YOUR wedding and at the end of the day, it only matters what you and your partner want. It is certainly hard to ignore the advice and opinions of family, especially if you have a close relationship with them. They love and support you and of course want to help in any way they can. Sometimes, however, family may not realize the position that giving their opinion can put you in. In my experience, it is important to listen to what your family has to say, and if it can be incorporated into your plans, then great. If not, do not carry the guilt of having made a decision that best suits you and your partner.
This applies to choosing your wedding date, your bridal party, your venue, ceremony details and various vendors. These are all very personal decisions and as long as you can come back to a place where you do what is best for you and your partner- while still respecting your loved ones- you are doing just fine.
TIER THREE—RELY ON YOUR PARTNER
Why would you have chosen your partner if you cannot lean on them and depend on them to help make decisions? This is why you should involve your partner in the wedding planning process and ask for their opinion on things that you are unsure of. It is their day too and your wedding should be a representation of the two of you.
I am lucky to have a partner who listens and supports me, even though my idea of personalized embroidered linen napkins was turned down…. On matters of the family, décor, etiquette or ‘which shade of blue’ we should choose, he is there to support me and give his thoughts.
Keeping the conversation open throughout the process will reduce stress and allow you and your partner to create a one of a kind wedding suited for the two of you. Let this piece be a focal point like the finished product of the top of the cake.
GARNISH- BECAUSE A LOVELY CAKE DESERVES A LOVELY GARNISH
-Allow yourself time away from wedding planning when the big deadlines have passed (vendors selected, deposits paid). Take a weekend off, go away for the weekend, get outside!
-Get the little things done ahead of time! If something can be accomplished three months prior to your wedding date and doesn’t take up a lot of space or energy- GET IT DONE NOW. There is no sense in adding extra things on to your plate right before your wedding.
-Remember why you are planning a wedding in the first place. You would not have to think about all these decisions and dream up all of your amazing ideas if it wasn’t for the fact that you found your partner and you both have chosen to spend your lives together. So, the next time you wonder why you are taking on a ‘second job’ or deciding between chocolate or vanilla (vanilla 😉), enjoy this fun phase that leads you down the aisle to an amazing life together.
Take care and Happy Planning!
Founder, Alex & Lily Home